this is most certainly NOT what i should be doing right now,
but i want to talk for a second about what i’ve learned this year. i’ve learned that being comfortable with people is okay, and that it’s easier with alcohol. i’ve learned that being funny isn’t as much of a skill or a talent as it is an accident and that stressing over saying the funniest thing is absolutely ineffective. i’ve learned that it’s important to say what you mean, and that it’s even more important to say it with conviction. BELIEVE IT. the problem is that i’m still learning how to do to this and right now i’m kind of going through a phase where i don’t say much at all.
i’ve learned that i’m the kind of procrastinator that waits until literally hours before a deadline to start an essay. i’ve learned that i’m smart, but not as smart as i think i am. i’ve learned that people like me more than i would i have ever thought. i’ve learned that one of my best friends is or was in love with me. i’ve learned that relationships don’t come easy for hardly anyone, and least of all for me. i’ve learned that you can’t really trust anyone without expecting at least one more person to know. i’ve learned that you should never follow up shots of tequila with four (or five or six) glasses of wine. i’ve learned how to drive and how to participate in class discussions. i’ve learned that you can’t have a crush on someone that you don’t really know. i’ve learned how to sleep with the intention of never waking up, and i’ve learned how to face a new day with more optimism than i knew existed in me. i’ve learned that i’m really paranoid, and marijuana only heightens that paranoia to the extreme and it’s HORRIBLE. i’ve learned that i hold everything in. i’ve learned that grown ups are just as lost as we are. i’ve learned that smiling and acting comfortable even when you aren’t makes any situation that much more bearable. i’ve learned that people won’t trust you unless you trust them first. i’ve learned how to make fun of myself.
