1. where is the line between being friendly and leading someone on

  2. did that really just happen

    did you really just yell at me DRUNK about something that stupid?  i kind of worry about your self esteem if you really get that offended over such a stupid comment.  i’m sorry that i don’t like all the same things you do and that i have different beliefs than you.  

    i feel like you have all this misguided pride in giving me so much freedom. threatening to take it away gives you a power trip.  and the funny thing is that you could take my car keys but you would HATE the burden of driving me around.  

    anyway that whole scene was embarrassing and now i won’t be able to sleep because i’m mad.

  3. i feel so lethargic and tired all the time.  the only time i don’t is when i find energy to go to the gym.  it’s funny how last night when blair left things went from slow and quiet to loud and hilarious in an instant.  i don’t think she realizes she has the power to completely alter the mood of a room with her presence or lack thereof.  

    victor and i slept in the same room and we talked for hours.  we talked about drug cartels in mexico.  we talked about love and relationships.  we talked about our families and all the lesbian stereotypes i don’t fit.  

    sometimes it’s scary how similar we are.  he’ll say things that i think all the time but could never articulate.  that’s a sign of a good best friend.  

    this morning i went to local coffee and had a bagel and latte and read the bell jar.  i saw ivy.  

    i have so many things to do but i don’t feel particularly inclined to do any of them.

  4. i’m trying.  i swear i’m trying. 

  5. channeling every energy into cardio and yoga with the expectation that being in shape will make me feel better 

  6. by the way 

    i took this personality test

    and i scored extremely low in regards to “friendliness.”

    ……..):

  7. we did nothing in any of my classes.  this afternoon michelle and i went to yoga and then to grab dinner and then i came home and watched glee and ordered vintage clothes and read about psychopaths.  i would label today as “successful.” 

  8. take a long, hot shower.  sip mojito mint tea and play soft music and listen to the thunderstorm.  don’t just listen, let every drop of rain seep into your conscience.  let every burst of thunder shake your core.  feel the storm.  mull things over.  make decisions that will impact the near future.  promise to be a better, friendlier person tomorrow and promise to smile more and listen closer.  make decisions that will impact your life.  promise to take bigger risks and have more energy.  promise you’ll text the girl you can’t get off your mind.  light a candle.  flip through a book.  meditate.  clear your sleepy mind.  channel your thoughts into the steady rhythm of your breath.  breathe in time with the rain.  sink your heavy body into your soft comforter.  sleep.

  9. thirteen more school days.  thirteen days and then the stresses and constant headaches and drama will be put on hiatus.  thirteen days and then i can relax for a short time and then i will be involved in an intensive workshop where i can channel all of my energy into the thing i love most.  and then ILPC with people that i like and then dominican republic with people i love.  thirteen days and then A Really Good Summer.

    i can do this. 

  10. oh my god i am so lonely all the time
    why